Scientists at Cornell University have discovered that the time between logging into Facebook and becoming filled with sickening rage is becoming less and less. The increased rates of irritability and annoyance can be traced to a lot of different factors.
"Frustration and rage have been growing exponentially for people that log into Facebook." says Cornell scientist. "A lot of it has to do with worse and worst memes, political and social commentary and a nauseating number of selfies. Not to mention the rampant decrease of common sense and self dignity."
Cornell ran tests on more than 2,000 Facebook users, and the results were jaw dropping. They discovered that in 9/10 patients blood pressure rose to unhealthy levels within the first 30 seconds of being on facebook. About half of those patients became visibly frustrated within the first few minutes and 3/10 continued into fits of grunting and screaming. In one case they even saw a man smash his head through the computer screen. The irony of the situation is that minutes later all the test subject logged back into facebook on a different computer to check his news feed.
"That's the confusing thing," explained Cornell scientist, "why are these people still using the social media platform when it brings them such frustration?" We asked a chronic Facebook user the same thing, "I don't know what it is, I get so mad at all the political posts, stupid memes and political and social correctness that I wonder why I even bother, but give me 5, 10 minutes and I'm back on there seeing if anyone liked my soggy badger post."
What of the correlating levels of aggravated and frustration? "Well, we still can't put our finger on it. However, we have seen improvements on subjects when we've encouraged them to live their life in the real world and not log into Facebook every couple of minutes to check their status." What will happen next you ask? Well, scientists only expect the problem to get worse before it gets better... after all it is election year.